Managing Stress During The Holidays
by Andriel Ugbomeh, LSW.

The holidays can be a time of increased stress or anxiety for many people and for different reasons. Sometimes family get-together causes more frustration than joy because of family history of dysfunction and toxic relationships. The holidays can also be particularly difficult after losing a loved one. When one is grieving, the holidays are suddenly not associated with happiness. Stress and anxiety during the holidays can also be heightened for the following reasons:

• Loss of a loved one.
• Family dysfunction or challenges.
• Endless to do list.
• Loneliness.
• Lack of support system.
• Separation and divorce
• High expectations of family and friends.
• Financial stress.

Experiencing some levels of stress during the holidays is very normal. However, it is essential that you manage your stress level for optimal physical and mental health because unmanaged stress is not a victimless condition. The following are potential consequences of unmanaged stress:

• Increased sadness.
• Lack of motivation.
• Lack of sleep.
• Oversleeping.
• Increased anxiety.
• Mood instability.
• Unable to feel happiness.

If you are struggling this holiday season, you’re not alone, here are helpful ways to cope and manage your stress, regulate your mood and improve your mental health.

• Try meditation or mindfulness apps such as Headspace, Calm and check out women’s meditation network on for some great specialized guided meditation.

 

• You can also try yoga (there are lots of free YouTube videos offering free resources that can be utilized at home) and journaling etc. I encourage journals with prompts. They generally tend to be more engaging. Journaling is a way to process our emotions in writing and it is a very affordable and effective stress management tool. 

 

• If you have lost a loved one, remember them by engaging in activities that they enjoyed during the holiday season. You can also set out a plate, have an empty chair or light a candle in their memory.

 

• If you have lost a loved one or going through a separation or divorce, understand that this may always be a hard time of year. Find acceptance in the challenges of this time of the year and increase self-care/ coping skills.

 

• Set realistic expectations for self, regarding holiday gifts, festivities, and activities.  You do not have to do it all. Keep an eye on your energy level. Self-care means that you are aware of your body and in tune with what it needs. Caring for your body means that you are listening to it when it says that it is tired, so avoid over-committing yourself out of a sense of duty and guilt this season.

 

• Set boundaries with family members regarding subjects that are off limit. You do not need to be right with someone that already came to the conversation with the idea that you are wrong and they are always right. Sometimes, you can choose not to explain yourself.

 

• Plan ahead for errands and items on to do list. Be realistic in what you can get done in a few days/few hours. Set lower expectations about what you want to accomplish . Allow the over-achiever in you an opportunity to shine by setting your standards low and surpassing it.

 

• If family causes too much stress, find other methods to celebrate the holidays (with a friend or co-worker). If you cannot excuse yourself from the holidays with family, limit your time with them to a few hours or a day.

 

• Utilize therapy as extra support, guidance, and healing (if needed).

 

• Make a budget for gifts, dinners, and travel etc. Money can be a source of guilt and shame for many people during this time of year. Remember that you don't need money to create good memories. Great memories are not only created with gifts,  wonderful memories can be created with experiences like baking cookies together, watching movies in pajamas and eating popcorn, running and watching re-runs of your favorite holiday movies. Focus on traditions that are about engaging each other in fun activities, rather than on buying extravagant gifts. 

Written by: Andriel Ugbomeh, LSW.  Andriel is a Licensed Social Worker through the Ohio Counselor, Marriage and Family Therapist and Social Work Board. She is a therapist at Focus Counseling, a private counseling practice in Grandview Heights where she enjoys working with people struggling with depression, anxiety and life transitions issues.