Growing up, I was notorious for holding grudges. I did not just keep malice, I bragged about it. I could choose to keep malice for years and talk about how tough I was as though I deserved medals for my skills. I did not know until I was an adult that I was harming myself and sabotaging my relationships.
When my husband and I were engaged, I lived in England and he lived in the US. We got into a big argument over the phone one day and I gave him a litany of all his actions that I found hurtful, despite the fact that he had apologized for them in the past. For the first time in my adult life, he called me out on my behavior. He told me that I did not know how to forgive and that I hold on to everything. My ego was bruised and I was so livid that I called off the engagement. To salvage the relationship, he bought an emergency plane ticket to the UK to talk to me face to face.
Fast forward 13 years, forgiveness has not been any easier for me as time has passed. I continue to struggle with this topic and the closer the person that hurt me is and the deeper my love is for the person that hurt me, the harder it is for me to forgive. My experience with un-forgiveness is that it is a heavy burden. I physically feel the weight on me. It is a shackle, I physically feel its pull on me. It is a dark cloud, it impacts everything I do and touch.
My greatest regret is that I did not learn how to forgive early and quickly. My greatest regret is that I started learning to forgive as an adult when it is so much harder. My greatest regret is that forgiveness for me does not come naturally.
If un-forgiveness makes us sick and keeps us sick, why is it so hard to do? It is difficult because it takes WORK and PRACTICE! I want to invite you on a forgiveness journey, so that you can be free, at peace and whole. If you are hurting, know that healing cannot occur without forgiveness. Sign up for my online 5 week INTENSIVE Forgiveness Group today https://www.eventbrite.com/e/forgiveness-healing-rehab-group-tickets-19405507395 or you can contact me at http://www.focuscounselingclinic.com/services.html for an individual counseling session.
Now that I am a parent, I want to give my kids this gift of forgiveness and since I can't give what I don’t have, I am constantly being challenged to make forgiveness a practice and choice. Truthfully, it isn’t easy, but it gets easier every day.
Jummy Olawale, MA.LPCC.LICDC.
CEO, Focus Counseling Clinic
Another 5K in the books!
Running is my new love. When I run, I feel free, light and strong. I ran my first 10K last month and decided to start training for a half marathon. I plan to run my first half marathon in spring of 2016 and I have scheduled fall races to keep me accountable. I ran a 5K this past weekend to raise money for the Mid-Ohio Food Bank. This was one of the most memorable run for me because I ran it with a friend. I have been a solo runner since I took up running in June and I am usually left to my thoughts, music or some podcast to keep me company during my run. With my friend by my side, I didn't need any head phones, I was fully present with the process that I could fully take in the cheering water break volunteers. The greatest part of that run was crossing that finish line with my friend by dancing…Yes! I danced as I crossed the finish line. Why you ask? Well because sometimes, you’re so filled with joy that nothing else in the world matters :-) What fun-happenings are you doing lately?
Save The Date! INTENSIVE 5week Online Forgiveness Group – $50 off
Un-forgiveness can make you sick and keep you sick. In October, I was invited to speak at a Women’s Conference on the topic of forgiveness and the response was phenomenal. I am starting an online forgiveness group in 2016. So, you don’t have to leave your home, and you can be in your pajamas! It will be a 5 week session with homework and materials. This group is for you if you are struggling with forgiveness and DESIRE to heal and move forward. If you know of someone that could benefit from this group, I suggest that you let them know and sign them up. You don’t have to be in Ohio to be in the group. Space will be limited as I am only accepting 12 people per class, so that it can be effective. Plan to register early to take advantage of the early bird DISCOUNT. It is $50 per session, so total cost is $250. If you register before 11/30, you get $50 OFF. To save your spot and for more information, click on this linkhttps://www.eventbrite.com/e/forgiveness-healing-rehab-group-tickets-19405507395
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