Anger management Counseling

Those that struggle to control their responses to anger often experience inherent pain or stress, which can make reactions to anger difficult to manage. Difficulties managing behavior related to anger can damage relationships with those we are closest to and can be harmful to our own wellbeing, leading to guilt and distress for our actions. Anger management counseling can help you develop new coping mechanisms that work for you. The therapists at Focus Counseling Clinic aim to guide you in finding healthier ways to communicate frustration by addressing the root cause of your anger and reactions.

 

What is Anger Management?

The goal of anger management counseling is to guide you through conversations to identify trigger points so we can determine together why and how we react the way we do to such stressors and find other ways to express ourselves. While we cannot control when we get angry, we can learn to control our reactions to anger, leading to a much better quality of life and relationships.

Anger management counseling helps us understand the source of our feelings and why we express ourselves in ways that can be damaging to relationships, ourselves, or others. After gaining a level of understanding, we can redirect our reactions in a healthier way. Anger management therapy can help with conflict management and relationship healing as well.

Our experienced and compassionate therapists are here to help you gain better control and judgment over stressors and empower you to communicate your anger in a productive and healthy way.

person sitting in a chair opposite an anger management counselor

Understanding Anger

person sitting on a couch in an anger management counseling session

Anger is a human emotion everyone feels, and it’s difficult to ignore it. It’s okay to feel angry sometimes. It’s often an emotion that mixes in with frustration. We may feel anger when circumstances don’t go the way we would like, or when people don’t treat us well. Anger often happens when we have an unfulfilled need or want. It can be something tangible or emotional. Many reasons can trigger it, and it manifests in several forms. There is often a trigger that leads to anger, and it can be associated with other feelings such as:

STRESS

JEALOUSY

GUILT / SHAME

EMBARRASSMENT

Types of Anger

There are different types of anger and understanding them is the first step to identifying them. Our therapists can help you develop a strategy to notice these types of anger and address the problem in real time. Here are the most common types:

Passive Aggressive

While most people associate anger with yelling or throwing things, in truth, this is not always the case. Anger can also manifest as passive-aggression, typically in people who find confrontation difficult. Rather than facing the situation head-on, passive-aggressive individuals will find ways to express what they’re thinking indirectly. For example, they may use indirect statements such as, “I wish someone would do this,” or they may use sarcasm.

person laying on a bed with their hands over their face because they are experiencing anger

Open Aggression

Open aggression is the opposite of passive. People who manifest anger this way do it in aggressively verbal and physical expressions. They may destroy things, hurt others, or retaliate with violent behavior. It can also manifest in other ways like verbal abuse or blackmail.

Assertive Anger

Assertive anger is the ideal way to express anger and displays a certain level of emotional health. It is not a hidden type of anger like passive anger, but it also isn’t to the detriment of others like open anger is. Instead, it allows patients to be open about their anger while being respectful of other people’s emotional and physical space in the situation. It’s a healthy way to express and deal with anger. Often, it is paired with patience and forgiveness.

person sitting on a couch discussing assertive anger techniques with their anger management counselor

Signs That You May Benefit from Anger Management Counseling

When anger starts to incur serious consequences, it becomes a problem that needs counseling. Continuing on this path can damage someone’s physical and mental health while affecting those around them. If you’re wondering whether you may benefit from anger management counseling, here are some signs to watch out for:

  • Constant blaming of others

  • Frequent uncontrollable outbursts of anger

  • People are commenting on your aggression

  • You feel like you’re angry for too long

  • You are easily irritated by seemingly small things

  • People are surprised by your reactions when you are angry

How Anger Management Therapy Works

anger management counselor smiling at another person in a session

Firstly, our counselors are not here to judge you or tell you how to live your life. We are kind, compassionate, and nonjudgmental therapists that are experienced in helping folks find ways to lead happier and healthier lives. Anger management therapy helps you identify the causes of your anger and how you manifest it. Our counselors can help you see and understand how you express anger. Together, you and your counselor can come up with ways to cope with it. Ideally, you’ll learn to turn the passive and open anger into assertive anger. There are many ways to approach this therapy, and the same formula does not work for everyone, which is why a professional approach is necessary. The therapists at Focus Counseling Clinic will develop a treatment plan that is tailored to your individual needs.

 

How to Prepare for the First Session

Your first anger management session will be a time for the therapist to understand you better so you can both begin your path towards better management of anger. The best thing to do before the first session is to understand the specifics of your appointment. Every experience will be different, but it’s all to establish a baseline for your progress. Here is what you should know:

Type of therapy

Will it be an individual session or in a class or group setting. Each of these will have different approaches.

Be kind to yourself

It may be challenging to seek counseling for anger because of our cultures, societal stigmas, or biases. Taking this step is not a defeat – it is quite the opposite. Be kind to yourself and understand that this is the first step to take control of your anger.

Goals

Other than controlling reactions to anger, is there anything else you would like to accomplish during therapy?

Anger Management Strategies

Anger management strategies are actions we can take to ease pressure, become aware of our surroundings during a tense situation, and gain control of our reactions to the situation. These strategies may help us prevent doing something we’ll later regret. These actions may take some practice and here are some of the most common and effective strategies:

Collect Thoughts

Instead of responding to anger right away, one strategy is to collect your thoughts. Figure out why you’re feeling that way and the best way to respond. Taking time before acting can help reduce or eliminate the damage we cause from our response. The goal is to resolve the issue and see things from another perspective.

person sitting in a chair listening to their headphones to collect their thoughts and cope with their anger
person sitting in a room with other people attempting to express their anger assertively

Express Anger Assertively

Instead of trying to ignore or push anger away, accepting it and using assertive verbal and physical language is the best way to try and resolve the situation.

Go for a Walk

If you are in a stressful or anger-triggering situation, the best thing to do sometimes is to take a walk. Taking a walk can help you collect your thoughts and breathe. The time you take during the walk can help remove the triggers that are causing the emotion in the first place.

person taking a walk to cope with their anger
person sitting on bench taking a break to cope with anger

Take a Break

Similar to taking a walk, a break will achieve the same results. For example, if you feel angry while working, taking a break can help reduce the emotion. It’s a way to alleviate stress and also channel your anger into positive energy.

Avoid Blaming or Criticizing

Often, anger circulates because we are blaming ourselves or someone else. A therapist can help you find ways to understand the situation better from other perspectives.

person sitting on a bench contemplating how to cope with their anger
two people holding hands and practicing forgiveness instead of open anger

Learn to Forgive

Forgiveness is an important step if you’re trying to remove uncontrollable anger in your life. If you learn to forgive someone, you’ll likely end up losing the ability to stay angry at them.

Ask for Help

Learning to ask for help is one of the most difficult and rewarding things to learn. Sometimes what people need is the support from their loved ones.

person sitting in front of their partner considering asking for help with dealing with their anger
person writing down how they feel to cope with their anger

Write It Down

Writing down how we feel and what has made us feel this way is a great approach to anger management. We are often impulsive or reactive to our anger and getting it down on paper can help us process the situation and our feelings while taking an actual action that isn’t a reaction. Interrupting anger with writing can help us avoid doing or saying something we may regret.

Frequently Asked Questions About Anger Management

  • Anger is a powerful emotion that we feel, often as a result of frustration, resentment, irritation, or disappointment. It’s the feeling we get when we know something occurred to our disadvantage. It’s a way to channel negativity but can also become a problem when not managed healthily.

  • The frequency of therapy sessions may vary from person to person. Some find that once a week or more is ideal, some find that every other week is sufficient. This will depend on severity of the case, progress, and scheduling.

  • For people who experience anger management issues, the likely reason is that they don’t know what steps to take when they experience the emotion. Anger management is a skill you’ll learn to perform over time if you’ve been having extreme reactions. People that have difficulty managing anger often grew up in an environment where they didn’t witness healthy ways to deal with the emotion and reflected the behavior they were taught.

  • You can’t control when or why you get angry. However, you can control how you express that anger. Anger management is all about learning how to express emotion without being abusive to yourself and others around you.

person sitting with their hand on their head in anger management counseling

Contact Us Today To Schedule an Anger Management Session

We want you to be able to focus on getting better and living a happy and healthy life that is free from the burden of mental illness. With our help, we believe you can achieve anything that you set to your mind, so we offer flexible scheduling and remote appointments to make it easy for you to get the help you need. Schedule a consultation today, or contact us on (614) 489-8759 and see how Focus Counseling can change your life for the better.